In the last days of 2006...

I liked that for a title. So what happened in the last days of 2006 besides a mega-migraine and a lot of rain? There was a disappointment. I have this romantic notion about New Year's Eve that keeps getting dashed from year to year.

I am currently in between churches (long story) but occasionally I will get an urging to go to my parents' church. The last few times the pastor made me cry. That's usually a good sign that I was suppose to be there. On New Year's Eve he preached on Psalm 25.

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish.

Yeah... that about summed up the last days of 2006: the troubles of my heart were multiplied.

If you are familiar at all with the CWP and me and Janel, you know I am the single one who complains about being single all the time. The troubles of my heart stem from that. Recently it was suggested that I give courtship a try, as described here at Boundless. (The link was out this morning, but I promise it's there.)

Janel and I go rounds all the time about courtship. If you only knew how many emails go flying back and forth between us on this issue alone... It is, at times, a bone of contention and a source of frustration for both of us. I know Janel wants to see me living with the benefits and protection of courtship, but I don't see how courtship fits into my lifestyle - at least not courtship in the purest sense.

Ok I think I maybe on something right this instant...

The issue isn't that I need help screening men to decide if they are suitable or not - I can do that. I need someone to cut the cord. Someone to beat me over the head or take me by the hand and make move on after its been determined he is not right for me. Because I'll stick around in a uncomfortable place because it is familiar and because the need for companionship is deep.

I need a henchman.